Nationalistic Waffle

 A couple of days ago I learned something about myself. A friend invited me to attend a Rotary Club meeting in which he was going to be installed as the new President for the coming year. I knew it was very important to him, and I've known this guy for many, many years (since 1972) so of course I attended. Also, free meal. But, anyhow . . . 

As an aside, really, the first thing I noticed is that Rotary is mostly for old people. I assume everyone there was some sort of Important Citizen or Business Owner, but it struck me that, in general, it was a bunch of old people and that I was not the oldest person there--something that happens less and less nowadays. 

A couple of women collared me and trapped me in a conversation about dogs, I think, or something. Pretty sure they were both hitting on me. One of them was 93 years old. The other one I think had reached that ageless plateau for women  somewhere between 60 and 80 years. That's an age bracket into which I fit squarely, but, what can I say? I don't want to talk about it. 

Retelling this reminds me that I was the only person there wearing a shirt and tie but no jacket. I thought it appropriate since the relative humidity was just north of 105%. The standard uniform for the men who were Important Citizens and/or Business Owners was slacks, shirt with open collar, sport jacket of some kind, no tie. What do I know?  I never pay attention to what other men are wearing, so when it matters, I never know what to wear. Truth be known, I doubt anyone gave a shit. 

The point of this post is coming around the bend. There was an opening prayer. I'm used to this. I stand with the others and don't move or look around while everyone listens to the head prayer guy up front say his prayer, and then I sit down when everyone else does. It's much like being a guest at a Catholic service. When in Rome, and just don't get caught standing when everyone else is sitting. Admittedly, it can get confusing. 

Then came the Pledge of Allegiance. This is what got me. I honestly cannot remember the last time that it was expected of me to join with the group in the Pledge of Allegiance. Maybe school? I don't really know. But, as in the prayer, I stand when everyone else stands, but it felt so alien, I didn't raise my hand to my chest and I didn't recite the words that no product of American public schools could ever forget. I just stood there avoiding eye contact, and sat when everyone else sat. 

I was caught off guard. I could not now, if pressed, make a case for pledging allegiance to the American Flag or, for that matter, to the Republic for which it stands. What does "allegiance" mean, in this case? And what does it mean to pledge it? I just stood there thinking, fuck it, I pay my taxes and try not to break too many laws and I got my driver's license and freely acknowledge that driving is a privilege, not a right, and so on. I was going to say next that I know some secrets but nothing that would interest the Chinese, but if I did, I wouldn't sell them. But actually I don't think I know any secrets of any kind--that's just how boring my life is--BUT IF I DID, I certainly wouldn't sell them to the Chinese. 

That's all.  Mike drop.  Squeal. Slow exit stage left.