I have my own theory regarding people who have nothing more to worry about than the real cause of the twin tower collapse and the moon landing hoax and this latest iteration of the end of the world thing: their lives must be pretty spiffy and squared away as it appears they have nothing left to do. They probably already have their Christmas lights taken down and put away in the basement. Personally, if I thought the end of the world was nigh, I would leave the lights up. Perhaps as a beacon. You never know.
At any rate I felt compelled to post something, one last thing, in 2011. Too bad I seem to have deleted my prior blog so I can't really recall that many specific details from January, 2011 to May, 2011 when this blog started. Not that my posts were comprehensive at all. As I thought of that this morning while still considering the ramifications of getting out of bed, I was kind of dismayed at how little I could actually recall of the personal events in my life this year. Perhaps not coincidentally, they are like old jokes--you can't just sit there and remember them when you want to, but they are still in there and come to mind when needed to add hilarity to any gathering.
Except that joke about the camels and the watering hole. That's just not that funny anymore. But I digress.
Here is a blog post from 2004, about as far back as I can find something on my hard drive. It still makes sense to me today, so there's something . . .
The sun is shining. I have always liked that expression, the sun is shining. It sounds like it could be a line in a Kindergarten rhyme. Up on the wall above the chalkboard there would be a cheerful yellow circle made of construction paper, perhaps with a smile drawn on it, and sunglasses, and wavy yellow rays emanating from it. All because far out in the blackness of space there spins an enormous, raging, perpetual hydrogen and helium explosion creating unimaginable planet-vaporizing temperatures --temperatures so hot that even on a cold winter day 93,000,000 miles away, a little upturned Kindergarten face will be warmed by its rays.
God is an old man with a long white beard and fierce eyes. God's girlfriend is a warm blanket. If you pray to the wrong one, it will wind up doing you no good whatsoever.
Those first two sentences made me spit tea everywhere from laughing so hard. I mean for real. Tea. Earl Grey, to be exact. Everywhere.
ReplyDeleteHappy new year.
I like that old post ... I'm going to look for one (I archived a couple of my blogs). I've always thought the conspiracy theorists were a subset of the larger control-freak group in general. They can't bear randomness, so they come up with an explanation, however kookier than the idea of an extremely low-odds event in the first place. This is also why they will post nasty comments after a tragedy, blaming the victim. It can't be that things just happen because life sucks. No!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Teacake. Happy new year to you also. And you're leaving yourself wide open for an Earl Gray joke, you know.
ReplyDeleteI know Paula. Randomness is a scary thing, and life everywhere fights it. But it keeps us from becoming too bored.
I remember that post about the sun. It's brilliant. Thanks for the replay.
ReplyDeleteFeliz Año Nuevo, Roy.
P.S. If you want to see how "Happy New Year" looks in "Mayan" go here.